I’ve been around coaching my entire life. Between my father and brother it would be deemed the family business. My father was head wrestling coach for 34 years at my HS and my brother put in 20+ mostly at a nearby school.
I dabbled. Three years ago I was head boys coach along with two HS teammates at a school where the kids were afraid the program would get dropped if no one applied. So I did and we had a lot of fun and learned a great deal about being on the other side.
By that, I mean, we had been spoiled in the program we grew up with. Our program had consistency, solid coaching, school and community support. The one we went into struggled in all those areas.
The following year I took a day job at my HS. I stopped in to watch a preseason open workout. The boys coaches were talking about how to support a newly approved girls program, because it was approved after the budget and year one had no salary for a staff. The season was only a couple weeks away. I said I’d be glad to volunteer, I was in the building and had my clearances.
I’ve done a lot of interesting things and that season ranked right up there with the best of them. It was the first year the PIAA sanctioned the sport. We had 18 girls come out for the team and 14 were freshmen. None had wrestled before.
I had read a quote from my father in a yearbook that essentially said if the girls thought they spent their time well by being on the team then it was a successful season. He was referring to the first girls cross country team. So one day I asked the girls at the end of practice, what did you get out of this season? Almost to a person those 14 and 15 year old girls told me they gained confidence in themselves.
For me, that made every minute I spent worthwhile.
Imagine being 14, had never done the sport, the first match had over a thousand people and was broadcast on local TV. You go out in a singlet as a female in one on one combat with another female your own weight, yes, everyone of those people watching knows your weight. The entire focus is on the two of you in front of teammates, coaches, parents, friends, classmates, the boys team, fans, and the media who are there to see how girls will perform in a traditionally male sport.
After that night, I said I coached the women’s team, because these 14 year olds were no longer little girls.
They could have competed in compression shirts and shorts, but when asked they voted for singlets. When we asked if they wanted, girl’s or women’s wrestling, they said we’re wrestlers.
I couldn’t be more proud of them.
It was year two and after the holiday we were on the road travelling cross-state for a tournament outside Pittsburgh with 24 teams.
We took two school vans. One coach and I were in one with six girls. He drove. It was a long ride out, but after a day in the gym an even longer drive back.
I was hoping the girls would sleep, which they did for about an hour in the beginning, and then I think they got more and more energy as we had less.
They had reason to be excited. We tied for first place. It was another good tournament for us against competition in our state, but outside our area.
At tournaments you see the kids a lot. At one point I was kidding with a girl about something being above my paygrade, she said yeah you’re an assistant volunteer. I looked at her and said are you demoting me? Now I’m less than a volunteer? We laughed about it and it still comes up all the time.
The truth is I prefer volunteering as I don’t feel guilty if I have something and need to miss for any reason.
Being in the school I see them as students and regular girls, walking with friends and with boys. A running joke is I don’t want to know about anyone’s love life. I tell them I’ll be more protective than their parents.
I do ask about grades and other activities, and I try to get to other events. I think it’s important for them to see that I’m interested in them first as a person and then as a wrestler.
We do kid about my being old. One coach is a couple years older than me the other two are about ten years younger than us.
A person once told me my dad commented while several faculty members were complaining about kids that he tried to learn something from them each day. She said it changes the attitude and conversation of everyone there. It stuck with me and I ask the kids lots of questions as a result.
Asking questions and trying to have perspective is critical in life and this role helps me remember that on a daily basis. Through it I see hardship and challenge and I see effort and overcoming obstacles. I help build confidence and teach lessons that will last a lifetime. And that is time well spent.
Resilient Seeker Coaching | Ross Raymond Nunamaker 