In the fall of 2023 I had been living alone for one year. I didn’t mind living alone. In fact, I enjoyed the solitude. It was quiet, peaceful, and simple. I’d imagine it comes across as very self-centered, but it was nice to be able to do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted without having to be considerate of others.
I watched whatever I wanted on TV, listened to music or podcasts or sports that I wanted to hear, and ate when I felt like it, though my routine mostly had me doing it at the same time every day.
My friends kept asking me when I was going to start seeing other people again. I’d tell them I wasn’t even divorced and after thirty years with one person I wanted time to myself.
I had my brother and mom. I had a small handful of friends. For me that was enough. I was never one to have to have close personal friends at work. I was sociable, took an interest in people, but I didn’t work to have friends. I went to work to make money to support my family.
In 2023, my mom had been invited to her neighbor’s wedding in Lima, Peru. She wanted to go, but not alone. The wedding was scheduled over the Christmas holiday and my brother and I both had off, so we decided to all go together.
It was not a Christmas as one would expect a traditional holiday to be, but it was great to be able to spend a few days together in another country.
We enjoyed it so much that we got together again over the holidays in 2024. This was following my medical issues and gave me a goal. I wanted to get my body built up where I could get a lot of walking in over consecutive days.
The trip was wonderful. We went to San Antonio, TX. The weather was great and everything was within walking distance of our hotel which was situated along the River Walk.
I had been to Dallas, Fort Worth, Austin and Houston. Each had its own feel and personality and San Antonio was no different.
The missions and history were interesting to me. There was a church nearby with a rich history and the Alamo was the famous attraction. I visited it on a morning walk right at dawn when no one except a Park Service officer was there.
We later visited it together, but I enjoyed it more without the tourists.
Getting away is good for the soul. So too are strong social connections. You don’t need to have lots of connections, instead you want strong, reliable ones.
Getting away can occur in many different ways. Travel is not always easy. There is often planning, logistics and cost involved, but it can be simple too.
When I hike, it is a getaway. Once I leave the trailhead, the woods slowly surround me and typically within 30 minutes or so I’m relieved of the sound of traffic. The birds and bristling caused by animals or ruffling of leaves as a breeze passes are joined by the creak of trees.
By the time I’m done my body may be tired, my feet may ache, but my mind is clear and refreshed.
Going away with friends allows us to more safely explore new places and try new things. We share and help round out one another with strengths of one benefitting all. This brings us to better understand ourselves and our friends.
Social connections and travel are critical to well-being and should be intentionally engaged in a positive manner to make the most of them.
Lessons Learned
Time to yourself is important, but so too are maintaining quality social connections and ‘getting away’ be it alone or with someone. It will improve your overall well-being and enhance your perspective.
Question for You
To what extent do you value social connections? How do you assess these relationships? Do you travel to get away or for entertainment or is it both?
Resilient Seeker Coaching | Ross Raymond Nunamaker 