Resilient Seeker Coaching | Ross Raymond Nunamaker

There is a right balance to how much time we spend thinking about the past, present and future.

There is a benefit to doing each, but an over focus on any given one is detrimental.

It is suggested we reflect 20% of the time, plan 20%, and act the other 60%. This seems to be a good mix in my opinion.

Reflection is the first step. The first misstep is focusing on what went wrong or the bad things that happened.

We naturally over-focus on negative events. We remember them more often and more vividly. Eventually they shape our general perception of life and this perception in turn shapes our memories. It starts slow and builds into a reinforcing belief that bad things are bound to happen and you can’t escape them or win. You become helpless, because it is life not you.

Journaling has helped me recall the good things. The simple pleasures. The smiles I get from the good I encounter throughout the day. The good things that happen so often they are expected and when something bad happens it over rides them completely, if not for the fact they had been written down.

When I reflect now I see the good first, and what could have been better second. I learn what I could have done differently and make plans to incorporate small changes to make more good things happen in the future.

I don’t plan to the point I don’t act, instead I ask myself if I have enough information? Could more information make a significant change in the decision to be made? If not, I don’t waste my time on it.

Then I go about doing it and I not only do it, I savor it.

Being present is more than going through the motions. It is embracing what you are doing. It is taking it in. 

You can take a picture of a moment, a sunrise, a concert, a deer in nature on a walk, but the picture can’t capture the feeling of the moment, the serenity, the sound, the smell, the excitement, or the joy.

In fact, taking the picture disrupts the moment.

You are not present at that time, you are already thinking ahead of a desire to look back.

A coach can help you hone the skills to balance how you focus your time, record events, and perceive the life you live in order to live it even better.